Dear D.,
I should have written to you a long time ago, and there are no excuses for the delay in doing so now. A week ago, I received a phone call from my dad: “A package arrived for you, inside there’s a small guitar.” Confused, I replied that someone must have had the wrong address: “Who sent it?” I asked. “It’s from the United States, from Florida.” In that moment, my heart skipped a beat – D. – I whispered. I had no doubt that this gift was your doing, and indeed, I was not wrong.
Dearest friend, I believe I owe you an explanation for this long silence. It won’t be an excuse, but I’d like to explain what has happened in recent years. Know that I have thought of you often and that the commitment to pick up the pen again has always been vivid and present in my thoughts. “One day I must write to D.,” I kept telling myself. I’m sorry that my will wasn’t enough to see this commitment through and that it took your guitar to finally wake me from my stupor, or my laziness. I am so happy to have received your gift and to resume our correspondence, if you are willing.
That said, the last time I wrote to you, I was living in Colombia. So many things have happened that I don’t know where to start (in Italian, we say “a lot of water has passed under the bridge”). But let’s start with the present: I am now in Sri Lanka! So, I’m currently in Asia, specifically in Southeast Asia. It’s a huge change after so many years spent in Latin America, and even more so when you consider that this is my first time in the region! But how did I get here? Let’s rewind the tape and take a step back.
I stayed in Colombia for almost two years, between 2021 and 2022. It was a very stimulating work experience. In Colombia, the civil war ended in 2016, but it is still a very violent context, and it is not easy to live there. If you recall, I work in the field of human rights, and my role in Colombia was, in general, to support post-conflict reconciliation processes. I worked closely with indigenous, peasant, and Afro-descendant communities that have been heavily affected by the conflict in one way or another. Due to the war, some communities were forced to abandon their ancestral lands, others saw their comrades (civilians) killed in massacres that have sadly become famous in the country’s history, and many families are still looking for their relatives and friends who disappeared during the war. As if that weren’t enough, today these people face new problems and threats, often from large multinationals and companies that have improperly appropriated their lands, polluting rivers and plundering local flora and fauna. The admiration I feel for these people, who have suffered so much and yet strive every day to build a better country, cannot be contained in these few pages.
In Colombia, I listened to and met so many stories and people who renewed my hope for a better future. We are so “bombarded” every day by news of the human or environmental catastrophes that afflict the world that we risk losing sight of the small, silent, and unobserved changes that are being set in motion in every part of the planet. Even though I have always been told that it’s the small gestures that make a difference, and although I have always believed it, seeing this “maxim” firsthand in a context as violent as Colombia was a kind of epiphany: optimistic abstract thoughts turning into reality. I don’t know if I’m explaining myself clearly, my friend, but I hope you can make sense of these words of mine. Finally, I couldn’t talk about Colombia without also mentioning I. and A., a Basque guy and an Argentinian girl, who shared laughter and tears with me. For all the time we worked together, we really became a family. I. now works in Uganda, while A. has stayed in Colombia. Despite the distance, we talk often and try to stay updated on each other’s lives, with the conviction and promise that one day we will see each other again.
However, while Colombia was a formative experience, it also had some repercussions on my mental health, although not serious ones. Dealing with conflict victims every day, listening to their stories, finding the right words of comfort, and living in an environment where you have to be careful even when walking on the street, was not easy. I am not ashamed to say that I cried a lot, had some nightmares, and many times thought about giving up everything and going home to Italy. But I didn’t. Mental health is certainly an aspect I had underestimated before arriving in Colombia, and I had to learn many strategies to take care of myself, such as slowing down the pace of my days, setting work boundaries, and making sure I had hours to dedicate to what I love to do and what makes me happy, like art or sports. One passion I recently discovered is pottery. I had wanted to try it for a long time, and finally, in Colombia, I decided to sign up for a class. It gives me great joy and serenity to work with clay and create and decorate my dishes, like plates, cups, and glasses. It is truly incredible to be able to create something utilitarian with just earth and water. I hope to be able to send you some photos of my creations. For now, I’m very happy to have found a class here in Sri Lanka, which I attend about once a week.
After my contract in Colombia ended, after almost two years, I returned home to Italy very exhausted and started a path with a psychologist. In reality, I wasn’t doing well either because of the uncertainty of my future. I was looking for a new job but without much success, and time seemed to pass relentlessly. In these unfortunate circumstances, on September 22, 2022, I celebrated my 30th birthday: unemployed and at my parents’ house. Even though I love my family, as I’ve told you many times, societal expectations convince us that by 30 we should already be on the road to success, married, with a secure job and a home. Therefore, moving back in with my parents and depending on them for the most part was not easy. During all this time, I thought of you many times and the fact that I was neglecting our relationship. I hope this overview makes it easier for you to understand why it took me so long to write to you.
Anyway, after a while, I found a new job in Mexico, where I lived for almost all of 2023. The tasks were very similar to those in Colombia, although less strenuous. However, it was not an ideal situation. I would have preferred a job outside of Latin America to broaden my knowledge in new contexts. Nevertheless, the time spent in Mexico City was peaceful thanks to some fortunate circumstances. I had the pleasure of sharing an apartment with three other girls, A., L., and J., from France, Colombia, and the United Kingdom, respectively. I fondly remember our Sundays, during which we had established a morning ritual where each of us would cook something for our unmissable brunch. I had become the person who specialized in banana pancakes. Every Sunday was a clatter of dishes, music, laughter, and delicious smells: crepes (a type of pancake typical of France, but thinner and lighter than US ones); arepas (a type of round bread, typical of Colombia); pancakes, to be eaten sweet or savory, and much more. Over time, our closest friends, almost all from different parts of the world, also joined our Sunday brunches, which became a stimulating time for discussion and exchange of opinions. I hold the memory of Mexico as the year I explored and discovered the pleasure of cooking for others. I’ve always thought I wasn’t good at cooking, and I’m still convinced it’s not my greatest talent, but in Mexico, I discovered a new side of myself related to food, and it was a pleasant discovery that I will try to cultivate in the future. In any case, for all the time I was in Mexico, I never stopped looking for work elsewhere, and eventually, I “landed” at a German organization that had interesting job offers focused on peacebuilding and conflict transformation in different parts of the world. It was a very long and difficult selection process, and many times I thought I wouldn’t make it, but in the end, they selected me for a position in Sri Lanka, where I am now.
Before moving here, I returned home to Italy from Mexico in December 2023, where I was able to spend a nice Christmas with my family and friends. I also wanted to go home because one of my best friends gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and I wanted to meet her. Her name is A., and she is already lucky enough to have two fantastic parents who love her immensely, and me, who considers myself the “wandering aunt.” Before moving to Sri Lanka, in May of this year, I had to spend the first few months of 2024 in Germany for a preparatory period. It was a very stimulating time where I had to take several courses on the most disparate topics with people who, like me, work abroad. One of the most interesting courses was undoubtedly “Country Analysis,” where the former German ambassador explained the political, social, economic, and cultural situation of the country to me, about which I didn’t know much. Sri Lanka is a small, tear-shaped island located below India. It is a small but extremely diverse country: there are three official languages (Sinhala, Tamil, and English), four religions are practiced (Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, and Christianity), and there are several ethnicities (the Sinhalese, who constitute the majority of the population, the Tamils, who constitute the minority, and other small ethnic groups). Unfortunately, the country was torn apart by a bloody civil war between 1983 and 2009, which saw the LTTE group (Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam), mostly located in the north of the island, fight against the Sri Lankan government to try to obtain an autonomous state and greater rights for the Tamil minority. The reasons for the conflict are obviously more complex, and if you want, I can tell you more in future letters. The war ended with the government’s victory, which, however, did not implement a transitional justice process in the following years aimed at reconciling civil society, investigating and prosecuting the various crimes committed by both sides, and compensating the victims.
In this context, I am collaborating with a local NGO on their peacebuilding project. Having arrived just over a month ago, I am now in the observation phase, let’s say. I don’t have an active role yet; for now, I mostly participate in training sessions, read, and ask my colleagues many questions. First and foremost, I need to understand the project to give the right advice and propose changes and new strategies. From what I’ve seen so far, it is a very stimulating—but also tiring—job that requires a lot of travel to reach the various rural Tamil and Sinhalese communities we work with. Broadly, the project aims to rebuild social cohesion, trust, and cooperation between the two ethnic groups who, although no longer at war, live isolated from each other and segregated in different parts of the island. This is what is called a “negative peace.” In fact, if peace cannot be understood only as a mere absence of violence, Sri Lanka is a good example of how a society no longer at war has not yet achieved cohesion and harmony.
Although the work is very interesting, there are new difficulties I have to face, such as the language barrier. Sri Lanka was first a Portuguese, then a Dutch, and finally a British colony. English, which everyone speaks, is the linking language between Sinhalese and Tamil. However, in the field and in the office—where I work exclusively with local staff—Sinhala is the dominant language. In Latin America, I never had to face this problem since I speak fluent Spanish, so this is a new challenge for me. It is difficult and frustrating not to be able to understand 100% and to be dependent on a person who has to translate everything for me. That’s why I’ve signed up for a language course. It will certainly take a long time before I can even reach a sufficient level, but I think it’s important to try to acquire at least a basic vocabulary that allows me not to feel completely lost and isolated, also because the alphabet is completely different! “Thank you,” for example, is written ස්තූතියි and pronounced “sthuti.” In short, as you can well understand, everything is new, from the language to the food, and I would like to share other aspects of my new life in Sri Lanka with you in the next letters.
Dear D., I hope I have given you a clear and exhaustive summary of the most relevant events of the last few years. As I said, I hope we will resume our correspondence and, in that case, I will try to be more scrupulous, as much as paper letters will allow.
I would like to know something about you: how are you? Are you continuing your art workshops? Tell me.
I hope to receive a letter from you soon.
With affection, your friend,
Margherita
