On June 29, 2014, the terrorist organization IS (Islamic State)—formerly known as ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria)—proclaimed the birth of a caliphate in the occupied territories of Iraq and Syria. The Islamic State was defeated in the Battle of Mosul, Iraq (2016-2017).
The interviews, conducted in May 2019, share the stories of Syrian women who lived under the ISIS caliphate and now live in Gaziantep, Turkey.
Interview 3: woman, 46 years old
“I had a normal life, a husband, a family, children, friends, my job. Everything I had worked so hard for, a happy life, I lost it right before my eyes. I was a university professor. I worked at the best Syrian universities. I was very happy and satisfied with my life and with my children’s studies, which they were unable to finish.
At the beginning of the war, so many people died. I saw so much death, with bullets flying over our heads. Even today, I don’t know how it’s possible that I’m still alive… I don’t know, God is great. During Ramadan, we had nothing to eat or drink. We listened to the cries of hungry children who just wanted a sip of water. We didn’t eat anything for two days; it was physical and psychological torture, and that was just the beginning. Everyone was afraid to leave the house to look for something, but we still did it. Early one morning, my family and I fled on foot from Aleppo to another village, leaving our home and everything we loved behind… it was so traumatic, especially for my children. We spent five days in that village before the bombings reached us once again.
One day, a friend of mine went to the hospital to visit her brother, and on her way back, she found her house completely destroyed and her four children dead. The head of one of them rolled to her feet. Now she no longer speaks. For six years, she has been lying in bed, waiting for death, and she only repeats: ‘Alhamdulillah,’ ‘Praise be to God.’ When it happened, she was not yet 25 years old. And she cried and cried, completely covered in her children’s blood, and I didn’t know what to do. I just kept looking at her, unable to even cry with her. I was so shocked that no tears came out.
During the war, when a plane passed by, we would hide out of fear, and my children would scream. I would hug them tightly to calm them down and tell them that God is great, all while we waited for our death. When I was a child, when we saw a plane pass, we would sing a very famous Arabic song:
Ya tayara teri teri (fly, fly, plane).
Do you know what children sing now?
Ya tayara tibi tibi (explode, explode, plane).
One day, my son went to get some water, and on his way back, a bomb fell near him. When he got home, he was in a state of shock for about ten days, without speaking. He also couldn’t hear well because of the explosion, and he still has hearing problems today. All this for a bottle of water.
Oh, my dear, I could tell you story after story, but it’s not the same. You see me smiling, but inside, only God knows what I think about every day. When I arrived in Turkey, I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder for three months. Seeing your life destroyed in a second… It’s not normal.
The war has separated us all. Where is the united family? Where are the smiles? Where? Where? Death walked through the streets, and everything was lost. Our roots, our country. Now I am here, jobless, after a 20-year university career. My husband was hit by a car during the war. When they brought me his bloody body, I thought he was dead and I screamed: ‘God, why?’ But he was alive, thank God, he was alive. He underwent more than three operations and still needs medicine for his recovery. All we Syrians want is a refuge, a safe place where we can start over.
What can I say? I’m fine, but it’s not easy. Our house rent is 550 Turkish liras, but with electricity and gas, we pay a total of 800 liras.
Sometimes we don’t have food in the kitchen.
How do I feed my children?
Tell me, what do I give them to eat?
They killed us as if we were ants. My family and I waited for death, watching the bombs and missiles fall from the window. Everything was destroyed. The innocent and the children died. If the problem is with the politicians, why did we have to suffer so much? What did we do wrong? Thank God, my family is still alive, but if you ask me if I still have hope… no, I don’t have any hope left. I live, just waiting for another day to pass.
The new generation makes me particularly sad. I don’t grieve for myself; I had the chance to live a peaceful youth, I studied, I married the man of my life. I lived my life in the best way possible. But all these young people, like my children, who wanted to study and build a family… they didn’t have a happy childhood. They didn’t see the beauty of this life, only death.
Where is the hope? Hope died a long time ago.”